Monday, May 16, 2005

Chapter Four, Section One

I've been kind of homesick these past few weeks. I'm still not used to living in this country and I am worried about breaking rules without knowing (social rules mostly, but I guess legal stuff too). The only time I ever get into trouble is when I break rules that I'm unaware of. Like the time my boss at the inn in Vermont wanted to dock my pay because I was on the internet too long in my spare time (not during my paid hours, obviously). I didn't know there was a limit to internet time, and I got reamed for it. He ended up not docking me, but the lecture I got sure smarted.

We're going to visit my family in Utah next month and I look forward to it. I haven't been there in a few years and I especially miss my sisters. And my brothers, but I've spent more time with them than my sisters. I also want to hear the American accent. I have to say, I am very uncomfortable with my accent here, and I think I get judged by the way I talk rather than by who I am. I'm tired of standing out. I want to be around Americans again. They are just as annoying, shallow, and boring as the Brits, but hey, I blend in with them and don't get any flak for the way I talk. Actually, I'm beginning to think that most people on this planet are annoying, shallow, and boring. It doesn't really matter where they're from.

I suppose to some people I am annoying, shallow, and boring (hereby known as ASB). I certainly am on my guard with strangers and I have been told I come across as stuck up. I don't present my intellectual side or my sense of humor to most people. Maybe most of the ASB people I meet are just like me, guarding their true self. I hope so, because that many ASB people in the world is just plain sad. Or maybe I'm the one who's sad, because I am not ASB and ASB is the key to true happiness.

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Anonymous said...

You are so right about what you say. I hope that you are right about ASB people just appearing that way and hope that being ASB isn't the key to happiness.

Maybe, it's accepting that other might be ASB and not allowing their energy to occupy your space. Hmm...that sounds all sorts of hairy fairy :-)

I enjoy your blog and your spirit :-)