Laugh

Under circumstances I am not at liberty to divulge, Partner has broken his arm. Again. He says he's too embarrassed to tell people the truth. But I can reveal that it did involve a fall. I was involved in a fall last week too, just not at the same time. I chased the dog around the back yard, playing rough and tumble, and had a rough tumble into one of the (as of now) empty flowerbeds. I landed on my face and scraped both knees. Luckily Partner wasn't watching but I suspect a neighbor might have been. The dirt was pretty soft, considering. If I'd landed on the grass I bet I would have bruised.

One time in Vermont, a friend and I were driving around Montpelier and we spotted a really big slide in a playground so I convinced her to stop and try it out. It was a bit wet from a recent shower, but I figured that'd be ok--a little water doesn't hurt. When we climbed to the top, we realized just how big it was. Probably three kids could have slid down side by side. And as for height, think fun-fair slides: the kind you ride down on a burlap sack. So my friend goes first. All is well. She shoots down it and jumps off at the bottom and waves back at me. I get on. I'm a little nervous but I can't back down now, so I push off. And go faster and faster...I'm wearing a wool skirt and connecting with the metal that my friend so conveniently dried off for me, I am soon out of control. I hit the bottom. Only I'm still on my bottom. My skirt flies up. I skid along the ground for a couple of feet before I grind to a halt. And I'm only wearing thong underwear, so it is my butt cheeks in direct contact with the dirt. The pain was awful but I simply couldn't stop laughing. I don't know if it was more funny for my friend who actually saw it, or me who sees it in my mind's eye as brilliant sort of cartoon comedy slapstick. My friend found some water in her truck and poured it onto my offending parts while I did my best to rub the mud off. I couldn't sit down for a week. It still makes me laugh to think about it.

I caught the dog sleeping on the couch the other night and when I told her to get off she just rolled her eyes at me. She didn't even lift her head to look at me. Naughty doggie. She knows it's where the boss likes to sit and since she wishes she were boss, she sits there. She also let herself into the bedroom the other morning when I was asleep and hopped up onto the bed with me and woke me up. I'm the boss so I get the best den. She's the subordinate so she doesn't get to sleep in the best den. When I let her know that, she gave me a very sad look. I almost gave in. But I am slightly allergic to her and if her hair gets on my bed I won't sleep for allergies. Plus, she's not the boss; I am.