Thursday, January 28, 2010

Making a home

I enjoy making little things, like this gift tag, using my scrapbooking skills. I'm not actually a scrapbooker--more like a cardmaker really. Scrapbooks can be really nice, of course, and though we almost never get printed photos now, I was thinking I might make a sort of scrapbook journal for the baby. Maybe. I could simply do a plain written journal. Any new hobby I might pick up would only encroach on my other hobbies; I just may not have enough time to start scrapbooking.

I'm trying to take my responsibilities as a (probably temporary) stay-at-home wife and mother-to-be seriously. I actually think one of the best ways to show your spouse your love is to have dinner ready when he/she gets home from work. When I was still working, if Partner got home first he'd cook for me, or if I was home I'd cook for him. I always really appreciated having something hot and home-cooked waiting for me when I got home; I know he appreciates it, too. There was once a time I was only cooking two meals a week--my two days off. These days it's mostly five days a week, though I do sometimes cook on Partner's days off too.

I think having a clean and tidy house shows respect for the people you live with. When we had a lodger I felt more obligated to change the sheets regularly, vacuum, dust, wash the dishes, etc. But really, we should do these things out of love, not duty (I say we because I'm not the only one who lives in this house!). I certainly feel more calm and relaxed in a clean and tidy home than a messy one.

In fact, I would say it's the responsibility of living with another person: when one lives alone, one is free to be as messy or tidy as one pleases. When one lives with another person, both must operate to the wishes of the person with the highest standards--or there could be unpleasant repercussions like resentment and arguments. Not to go too deeply into gender politics, but I don't think many men realize this responsibility, hence the tendency of women to do more household chores than men. As I'm home full-time for the present, naturally I can and will do most of the chores. In this particular case, the person who is not home full-time can contribute to the housework by not making it harder! For example: not dropping dirty laundry on the floor but putting it in the basket, or replacing items to their proper place when finished using them: in general this means cleaning up after oneself, not leaving it for the "maid" or "elves."

I know I've complained that Partner doesn't appear to notice the need for housework, and that if I want a tidy, clean house I either have to ask him when I want something done (in which case he's doing me a favor rather than taking equal responsibility) or just do it myself. I'm trying to get across that it IS a responsibility, not just for the person who cares about it, but the person who cares about that person.

1 comment:

Gilbrides said...

I LOVE this post. I completely agree with you. :) James and I have had a few conversations about laundary . . .and picking up after oneself.